It’s okay not to be perfect. I know there’s always someone better, bigger and brighter than you out there, but knowing it and really understanding that are two different things.
I’m not perfect, and I’ve never pretended to be. On the contrary, I consistently voice my faults – it seems to comfort people, and really encourage them to be better than any pep talks I give. I’m okay with not being perfect, and I am perfectly okay with people knowing my faults.
However, I am not okay with not being the best I can be. And accepting that people will be miles better than me on my best day is something I find difficult to swallow. Everyone deserves their success, and fight it as I might, I am jealous of that success. I want to be a better person for other people, and do everything I can to improve the world. There is always a niggling feeling though, that other people do it better and more efficiently than I. Does this mean I should stop trying? Resign myself to a life lived well with a partner and a pet and no more? I want more. I’ve already proved to myself that I can live in a way that benefits and supports those close to me, but I believe I can be more. I can help more, and have a wider effect on more than just those immediately close to me.
So – am I doing it wrong? Am I not trying hard enough? Do I lack innovation/creativity/passion/insert other essential aspects? I would say no to all the above; I guess it all comes down to what I encapsulate as ‘success’ and exactly how I want to measure it. I don’t have an answer for that right now, as I keep changing my mind about what I think success is. Case in point, I’m indecisive.
There’s no right way to do anything. As a constantly evolving race, we have proved this to be true. I’m exploring the options, figuring out the best way I can help people – and in the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter a great deal how successful I am, as long as I help those who I can.